Lost in Impression

December 4, 2008
India

Living in another country is an opportunity for me to experience life beyond my control and limits. There is really something about being out there, and when I say being out there, it’s about taking the conscious decision to throw myself in an abyss where only GOD knows what is there for me. I become vulnerable and a likely target of and for people’s idiosyncracies and the crazy antics of the inevitable. My analogy of it is like standing on a high strung wire enveloped in a complete darkness with occasional goofballs aimed at me, challenging my balance and beckoning the strength that has never seen its light.

But the spirit never falters. It may get distracted and perturbed, but as soon as its power of knowing and believing takes over, I hold strongly to my faith and to all the beauty that is part of my life. Family. Values. Friendship. Dreams. Love. Country. Home.

Order in the middle of chaos. I like this phrase, and admittedly it is one of my overused lines in this life. But why? Because it reminds me of hope and the gift to turn noise to melodies, to distillate murky water and to see beauty in the ugly. Uncertainties will continue to challenge us. But my threshold has surpassed what I so long perceived to be its limit. I have seen the worst and the ugliest and have been to the most trying times. Been there and done what I could, regardless of whether I did the right or the wrong things. It’s the heart that has become that truly matters. My heart, shaped and strengthened.