Becoming Bennet

26 September 2007

I was reading Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, and i deliberately bookmarked the page where Mr. Darcy in all of his courage told Ms. Bennet this line, "In vain have i struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

It made me squirm because that's how powerful love can be. And inspite of the many relationships i've had, i am still not jaded. I still have compassion for my poor heart!

I snapped back to reality. And in truth, i am Ms. Bennett. And i have a Mr. Darcy in my life now. I was just told by Dave a few minutes ago (which by the way inspired me to write this), how i have such a great impact in his life. He recounted the first time we met, and from then on, how his affection towards me has grown much. And excuse my countenance, but i already knew how he feels about me. And i dread for the day that he should come forth and express how he feels, for i certainly do not have an answer.

And so he did. He's one of the kindest souls i ever met. And a guy like him only deserves a return of agreeable civility, much hopes on mutual affection.

But i can't. I try to hold on to the possibility, but my feelings are otherwise.

Thankful, yes I am. But until i resolve my very own undertakings with myself, only then i will consider saying "In turn, i hoped for your love and I will make you the most agreeable and happy man."