"It's Complicated"

June 6, 2008

10:47 PM

Urgh! I was in my Nike Yoga sweatsuit two freaking days ago when i stormed out of a confrontation with an ex boyfriend. It was like walking naked towards the carpark of my Guru Indira's ashram and challenging all the cosmic energies that the ashram houses since the Beckhams' frustrating teleportation to the land of the Cruises. I was shaming my inner covenant to find order in the middle of chaos. Manong Rudy, my family's driver was nowhere to be found! And ex-bf was tailing in no more than 18 counts of single-double-double-single grapevine aero steps. I was hopeless for a refuge. And then the bulb lit, and i was saved (in countless times) by my dependable knight named Ronald McDonald.

Anyway, the guru teaches me to be in control of all the energies surrounding my being. And that includes, rancor, anger,bliss,indifference and orgasm (believe me)! But all these fail to fruition when there's just so much little voices hovering me that speak of aghast and hopelessness to make my ex-bf go away. Now, i couldn't even get to mention his freakin' name. Enter my BFF Ronald McDonald, and it only takes three Hash Browns and a Float to regain my serenity. Hehehehe.

Calmly, i began to think of True Religion jeans and Topman. A new pair of Cole canvasses was disturbing guru's teaching of unworldly possession. And i just realised that worldly possessions are essential for my well-being. Shameless 'me'. I am high maintenance. I could hear the sermon during my bible prayer meeting that these things can willingly join me in my closet which is called casket when i die. And i took a big gulp of my Float, and brain frrrreeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzeeee!

Now back to serenity. Have you ever experienced that there's so much events happening all at the same time and these events are from your past and are of similar descriptions?

Case 1- Carl, after like 4 months of not talking, came out of the blue and wants me back in his life. He became more persistent when i told him that his officemate Bryan2 is 'courting' me and attached with the courtship are the sleazy indecent proposals. And as i was writing this, Bryan2 just called and asked me casually, if we could have sex later. Talking of dogs! Carl was fuming mad of Bryan2, and was asking me to choose between him and Bryan2. Carl hatched a plan involving me. That in the coming week, i will visit Sitel in Eastwood (that's where they both work), and meet them both. Carl was planning that. And i didn't understand what was that for. As of this minute, Carl and I aren't talking again. He was mad when i didn't watch Sex and the City with him. And i chose to get freaky with Mark. Carl's last words were and i qoute, '....enjoy,if ur plans is 2 make me jealous, u won.cge nyt..'

Case 2- Dave, after like 7 months of not seeing each other, caught up with me in a mall. I was buying Strepsils, and surprise.. when i turned , he was standing just a step from me. I was having sore throat and colds, and it was the last situation i would've wanted him to see me. Anyway, we exchanged quick hellos and i was telling i was running for some errands at the groceries. Dave and I WERE 'bedmates'. He's the good guy and I was the bad guy during our 2 days relationship. I chickened out, and said that it was better for us to remain 'bedmates' instead of having a real deal commitment laden relationship. And guess what he texted right after the meeting, to qoute him '...Srap p rin u. Nahorny 2loy aq knina. Hehe. Mz q na ung pgf**k sau..' The nerve.

Case 3- After that accidental meeting with Dave, i went to the groceries, and guess who i saw. Jerry and Mike (gay couple) and their 6 year old kid. Wait. Stop. No one bore the child. They adopted him. Anyway, it was one of the most awkward moments in my life history. But not because i was having colds, but because i dated these two guys last year behind each other's back. I met them during a business conference last year. I didn't know at that time that they were a couple. I dated Jerry. And i dated Mike. And in one of the weird twist of events, i somehow found out that they were almost splitting up everything literally because of me. Mike accused Jerry of infidelity. And Jerry didn't know that Mike was infidel also. And both of them accused me of infidelity. It was a dizzying merry go round. It's not that i am washing my hands clean, but i did not know that they were a couple. What i knew was, i did like both of them, and was figuring should i decide to get in a relationship, who between Jerry and Mike was 'the One.' What happened in the grocery? We all pretended we didn't know each other. Period.

Case 4- At the end of that single day, i went like what was that? I was like the devil caught in the deep blue sea. Wrong. Caught inside a fishnet in a deep dark blue sea. Rather. And then i got a message from Mark, the text was 'Muah.' And i replied, 'Baby, muah one googlelion times.' If there's a true description of that friendster status, “it's complicated”, that's about me and Mark. We both come from previous relationships that brought much pain. And we're both so testing the waters. We had long talks, figuring out what we are to each other. And it does not matter at the moment, if we're officially a couple or not. Essentially, it is the fact that we like each other, enjoy each other, and there's the willingness and hope that soon, we both will take the leap and enter into a commitment. But nothing is different from how we are to the traditional couples. Jam, our common friend, was telling us that we're a bunch of weirdos. There's actually much truth in that. But i have stopped defining what i am to Mark and Mark is to me. It is my first time to be in this set-up. I guess it's more than testing the waters.

Whew! Now i laugh as i remember my best friend Jacque's description of our tandem. She said that she's the complicated between us and i am the high lifestyle maintenance. Hahaha. But it looks like, i am both of that now. And she's changed spec from being complicated to being a high maintenance. Oh well, is that a bad thing? I've been asking myself. And i can't find the answer for now. I probably should see a shrink. And not Guru Indira nor Ronald McDonald. Till then. I'm off to the ashram, love guru might be just somewhere in the kitchen. Bye. Yep, the shrink. Not the love guru. Oh, i need another brain freeze. Whatever.